So what do people drink that drink neither Coca-Cola nor Pepsi?

They drink Montana Sauvignon Blanc and Marlborough Chardonnay. And Beefeater Gin and Drambuie Over Ice, and Cinzano Rose and Pim’s No.1, and Baccardi and Babycham and Brut. And they drink Grover’s White and G. H. Mumm’s Brut Champagne. And Grand Vin de Chateau Lato and Pale Dry Manzanilla Sherry and Belle Epoque Champagne Perrier-Jouet and Merrydown Extra Strong Vintage Dry Cidar and Remy Martin, VVSOP.

And they drink Officer’s Choice, Director’s Special (“waiter ek DSP lao”), Black Cat Rum, San Miguel and Tuborg Beer, Heena Special, Johnnie Walker Black Label Scotch, Royal Salute, Chivas Regal, Himalaya Vodka, Camus (Napoleon, Extra, XO), Urvashi Black Label, Blue Riband Gin, Snow Leopard Gin, Bombay Gin, Antiquity, Caesar, Royal Challenge, Aristocrat, India No. 1, McDowells’s Premium, Vinicola’s Vinho-Porto.

So what do people drink that drink neither Pepsi nor Coke?

They drink Guinness Extra and Veuve Clicquot and Billecart-Salmon and Ayala and Bollinger and Tattinger, and Pol Roger and Pommeryand Canard-Duchene and Gosset and Charles Heidsieck and Dom Perignon and Deutz and Piper Heidsieck and Moet and Chandon and Joseph Perrier and Louis Roederer and Dom Ruinart and Krug and Lanson and Martini Extra Dry and Vermouth and Muscadet.

They drink Arrak and Pahela Bhatti and Mosambi and Narangi and Caju Feni and Coconut Feni and Bagpiper Whisky and Canadian Dry and Century 21 and Vat 69 and Rodi Rum and Rosa Rum and Hercules Rum and Forbes Gin and Golconda Wine and Johnny Walker Red Label Scotch Whisky and Sikkim Special Whisky and Zingha and Tiger Beer and Paan Liqueur and Cherry Brandy and Crème de Menthe and Musk Brandy and Campari and Egg Nog with Honeydew Brandy.

So, what do they drink, who don’t drink Coca-Cola and who don’t drink Pepsi?

They drink Hennessy Cognac, they drink Macallan, the single malt scotch, they drink Gilbey’s, the authentic gin, they drink John Dewar’s White Label, they drink Framboise, Grappa, Kishwasser, they drink Chambord, le liqueur royale de France, they drink The Glenlivet, the father of all scotch, they drink Master Brew, premium bitter, they drink Marks and Spencer’s 1992 Chablis, a classic, rich vintage.

And premium ale, red beer, wheat beer, cag beer, bottle beer, chilled beer, room temperature beer, London Pilsner, Goa Pilsner, Arlem, Diet Beer, Kingfisher, Golden Eagle, St. Paul’s Triple, Biere du Demon, Tollana Coonawarra Reisling, Chareau de Parenchere, Bordeauz (1989 and 1990), Chateau Hostens-Picant, Mao Tai, Chinese Rice Wine, Japanese Sake, Blue Label Scotch Whisky.

And they drink Yeni Raki, Rakshi, Millet Beer, Chang, Palm Ferment, Uzzo, Kurant, Ballantine’s, Vat 69, Semillion-Chardonnay, Hungarian Country White, Bosca Red, Caesar Brandy.

So, what do they drink who drink neither Coca-Cola nor Pepsi. Well, they do not drink Thums Up.

— Busybee
June 12, 1994.
www.busybeeforever.com

This column first appeared in the Afternoon Despatch & Courier, the newspaper founded by Farzana and Behram Contractor in 1985.