Seek Solitude

Find the Balance Between your Inner and Outer Self

I can safely say what most of us seek in life is happiness, joy, peace, love. I could also say we think these pursuits are quite achievable if we have a fair amount of money. But that is not so.
The Beatles have told us through great verse, that money can’t buy you love. So loads and tonnes of money for me is out. And I think quite simply that happiness, the definition of which will differ from person to person, comes from two things, good health and a few good relationships. While in the stake of relationships, luck plays an important role, good health predominantly comes from leading a stress-free life and an honest, simple, easy-breezy way of living.
Look around and you will see the carefree ones who indulge in wine, woman, and song are the ones who are the happiest, healthiest and probably the longest living ones! So much for health foods and fads, crazy gym regimes. Primarily, methinks it’s about living with a clean heart, respecting people, respecting nature. Keeping envy at bay.
Probably one of the most essential abilities then is to cultivate in-depth self awareness. To be aware of who you truly are, what you truly want and if that want is a need, or a greed, or just something you seek out of boredom.
Awareness comes from being in tune with yourself, being honest with yourself, for only you can know yourself and not fool yourself. Living in pretense, posturing this way or that must be so taxing to the soul. And why is it that we are dictated so, anyway? Social norms, social pressures? Who says you will have to give in, do something you don’t want to do? Why don’t you just try and understand your own self, see who you are, instead of becoming what you would like to be, or worse be what others expect you to be.
Dig into yourself, you will soon find enough reasons to dig yourself, like I dig me! ‘Dig’, a big word for those of us who grew up in the ‘70s. In school, saying “I dig him!” was the ultimate for a guy to learn. “Man! She digs me!” Those were nice, innocent days. We were sweet, innocent kids, propelled by simplicity. Simple in thought, in lifestyle, in emotions. Unlike now. But I don’t want to sound like an old hag with a generation gap!
So tell me, do you like who you are? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Or you haven’t because you are too afraid of the answer. All I can say is, don’t be afraid. Each of us is special in our own way, and we are special at least to a few people.
Thing is, we must have something to offer this world, be of some service to people. One could start right away and see how rewarding the feeling is. No, it’s not just a lofty thought. It’s possible. When we make ourselves of use to someone, it generates a certain goodness which becomes  a protecting factor. A nourishing feeling. The world today is way too selfish. Be kind, be selfless for selfish reason – for your own good!
So indulge in an exercise to know yourself better. Take time out, slow down, ask yourself searching questions.
For which I’d say, go take yourself on a holiday. Alone. Go some place, new, by yourself. Not Las Vegas or Monte Carlo. Someplace where  nature surrounds you.
No, no friends allowed. Not even a single one. Except if your friend has got paws and walks on all fours and plants wet kisses all over your face! That itself will pull out the better human hiding inside of you!
I do that very often, you know. Driver, maid and my two pet Lhasas, and I am on my way. Thankfully I have a home away from home and being in the hills of Panchgani allows me the luxury of getting re-acquainted with my innermost thoughts, deepest of feelings. Of addressing my hurt or anger or pain or anxiety and getting over it. It’s where I also go, to go down on my knees and thank the Almighty for all my blessings, big and small, of appreciating every little act of kindness that comes my way. Does good to my being, these soul vacations.
So what am I saying? I am saying, be by yourself so that you regain the balance between your inner and outer self. Don’t be afraid to be alone. In that quiet time in a new surrounding, expand your awareness, see what you experience there, let the insights you gain touch your thoughts, longings, fears, and questions. Face the good and the bad.
Interacting with what happens on both inner and outer levels gives you a new balance, makes you see those aspects of your past, present, and future come into a new focus. You gain more insight on people who are present in your life. Strangely the people who we are closest to have the most power to hurt us and they do, even if advertently. Forgive, forget, move on, let go. If the core of  compassion within you gets touched upon, a sense of being connected to a higher purpose could even take shape. Love is beautiful.
Basically what I am saying is, being alone and away from home will allow us to focus more deeply. Back home most of us go about our day as if we were living life in a single track: the work-office-home routine consumes us. We tend not to see anything beyond our immediate focus. We ignore ideas and sights that beckon from other directions, urging us to pause and explore them. We are too busy, the rat race, the paper chase just doesn’t let up.
So please go away to some quiet place, think with your heart, not your over-worked brain, let your rational, conscious mind take rest. Often this factor messes up things.  See where the world wants to put you, see where you are right now. Look for clues, coincidences have a meaning, intuition has a place.
If we start listening to our body, our emotions, and our innate sense of… of… je ne sais quoi, perhaps your inner Wabi Sabi-ness, our quest for happiness will spring to new life and suddenly we will discover it was right there all along, right next to you, why even all around you!!