Stop the constant longing... just let go
Farzana Contractor believes in living life true to her nature. To uphold her missive – live life simply, honestly – she urges us to regain the old style of stress-free living like our forefathers did. When they knew just how much was enough to be content, happy and healthy
Stop the Constant Longing... Just Let Go!
The scenario all around us, in India presently, seems to be one of concern. Everyone has a concern, in some form or the other. A pressure of some kind, an angst, a fear, some trepidation, general uneasiness… Jobs, money, children’s education, their future, food shortages, sky-rocketing prices of petrol, riding carefully on scooters in pot-holed roads… the risk to life seems high and normal daily living itself seems to be in peril. Add to this communal disharmony, political pantomines and the unbelievable amount of hate all around. Whatever happened to social living, peace and harmony, love and togetherness? Trust. Faith in one another. Just being happy…
How does one get through all this? How does one navigate modern day struggles?
Given the current background, I agree it’s hard to take a step back and appreciate all that we have, but you know what, that’s the only thing we – you and I, can do. Maintain an attitude of gratitude. Think positive, wish well for one another, believe in your God, connect with the universe, immerse yourself in nature, your work, your hobbies. Get a dog.
Do simple things. Write a letter to an old school friend, in hand, with an ink pen, on good writing paper. Then go to the post office yourself, buy stamps, lick them in place and post it with a smile! So much nicer than an email or even a WhatsApp call. Sometimes expressing your feelings with the written word creates a deeper bond.
While it rains outside you could declutter your home, or a small section of it. There are bound to be things here and there gathering dust. Things once used, even loved, but un-needed today must go. There must be someone else who could have use for it, find him or her! That tennis racket in its lovely case. The canvases you thought you would find time to paint on, one day. Your collection of old coins; priceless, but useless now that you are older and the hobby has lost its excitement… you could help some child in your family develop a passion for it. Of course, since there is nothing digital about it, the tough part would be to convince today’s child that coin collecting, old, new, from all across the world, is something worth doing!
Talking about digital influences, another annoying factor is we are living in a time of perfectly curated social media feeds. Big smiley faces in exotic locales on perpetual holidays. Everyone looks oh-so-happy. New products are thrown in our faces every day. And that doesn’t help either. We are just not allowed to live contended by all we already have. How can we stay satisfied if in spite of all the checks and self-control we give into temptation and seek to attain what is clearly not attainable?
Media, social influence, constant comparisons to others who we perceive are doing better, there’s always something on the horizon that draws our attention away from the positivity in our lives. Although there’s no harm in wanting to be better, there’s a lot to be said for taking the time to appreciate what we have.
Time to dig into the age-old traditional Japanese ideology of Wabi Sabi. How I love all things Japanese.
Allow me to repeat, remind you about what I have already said in my past columns. Originally wabi and sabi were two separate concepts. Evolving from a way to describe the loneliness of a reclusive life living out in nature, the term ‘wabi’ became a way to express appreciation for the beauty in the elegance of humble, rustic simplicity. ‘Sabi’ was once a term to describe the way time affects deterioration. It could be the passing of seasons or ageing pages of an antique book or that candle burning down to its last bit. Wrinkles, laugh lines etched in a face, greying hair… It’s the beauty of the impermanence of ageing. Together these concepts harmonise to create a more overarching concept of appreciating the simple, yet impermanent states of life.
Let’s look at Wabi Sabi as a lens through which we can focus on our everyday life. Allow me to draw from Tadao Ando, the famous Japanese architect who described Wabi Sabi in his book, The Wabi-Sabi House:The Japanese Art Of Imperfect Beauty, as: “The Japanese view of life embraced a simple aesthetic that grew stronger as inessentials were eliminated and trimmed away.”
That’s the key. The point I am trying to make. To trim away the inessential. To let go. To just watch something without wanting to buy it, own it, possess it. To understand that what we have is enough and to be thankful for it. To spend time not in wanting to acquire new possessions but in pursuing higher thoughts, in understanding something, reading a book, looking up a new recipe, cooking it, inviting someone to share it. The concept of Wabi Sabi can so easily be applied simply to moments of everyday life. To live in a state of mindfulness, in the present moment, giving meaning to our own life… Not succumbing to the opposite trap.
We have to simply accept that life moves forward and with it everything else within it also moves forward; and in that lies its own beauty. There is suffering, yes, but it doesn’t stay permanently. Other pleasing situations could intersperse the difficult times. Like, a child could be born in the family bringing much joy, a marriage could happen, old friends could pop up, you could go on a holiday, travel, or who knows, you could win a lottery! Seasons come, seasons go. Like it’s the monsoon now, it’s pleasant weather, rain showers, et al. And look, we have left the scorching, sweltering summer behind, but alas, all the beautiful flowers have fallen in the storm. And soon they will be trampled into the earth. But hey, they will compost and re-energise the earth! Understand what I mean? It’s a circle, goes on and on...
We just have to acknowledge that every little bit is a part of the whole. Life is ever-evolving, we just have to live it. Although not pleasant, difficulties and sufferings can ultimately only lead to growth and deeper understanding of how multi-faceted life can be.
Like everything around us, we are always in a state of flux. Smile, this too shall pass.
